Monday, January 12, 2009

At the Movies, 1/10/09

Dude, seriously, you need to stop. This is getting ridiculous.

I want to stop talking about Twilight--in fact, I never wanted to start. But Ben Lyons just won't let me.

I suggested recently that Ben put Let The Right One In on his Top Ten of 2008 in order to make up for hyping Twilight
. Now, he puts Twilight on his ten worst of the year! Better yet, it is precisely number ten--just "bad" enough to make the list, but not so bad that it is necessarily worse than any of the other films. He even adds "I admit I bought into the hype that swirled around the project for months on end." Do you really need to remind us? Better yet, he calls it "the most disappointing film of the year." Of course, that assumes that you actually thought it was going to be a decent movie in the first place. Mank responds appropriately--no, it's not the most disappointing movie of the year, that would be Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull--because at least you had a reason to think it would be a good movie (not that it was the worst movie of the year).

Keanue Reeves totally sucked more than Robert PattinsonI would like to stop there, but there is another problem. There are a whole series of crappy movies that are certainly worse than Twilight--The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Spirit both come to mind--the latter would be my pick for the most disappointing film of the year, by the way, I really thought that was going kick ass. I am surprised that neither one of these made either list.

Ok, so I would really love to stop there, but it gets even worse. Ben Lyons thinks Synecdoche, New York is worse than Twilight. Let me say that again:

Ben Lyons thinks Synecdoche, New York is worse than Twilight!!!

In fact, there are only two films that Ben thinks are worse than Synecdoche in 2008! Just when I think you are taking Mank's recommendation to "calm down", you go and do something ridiculous like this.

Ben then goes on to agree with Mank's number 5 pick 21, saying that director Robert Luketic (better known for directing Legally Blond) was the wrong choice because he is too much of a light-weight. Yeah, seriously, it's like taking some fool from E! and putting him on a serious film review show--you never know, he might go and do something stupid like put one of the best films of the year on his ten worst list.

Oh, and let's not forget, Mank listed Rachel Getting Married as number 8--on his ten worst list! That means:

Ben Mankiewicz thinks that Rachel Getting Married is worse than Twilight!!!

Dear God, what are we going to do with these guys?

Their full lists are below:


10. Twilight 10. Mamma Mia!
9. Speed Racer 9. Love Guru
8. Mad money 8. Rachel Getting Married
7. Beverly Hills Chihuahua7. Babylon, A.D.
6. Meet Dave6. Max Payne
5. The Mummy: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor5. 21
4. War, Inc.4. College
3. Synecdoche, New York3. Filth and Wisdom
2. The Women2. Vantage Point
1. Repo! The Genetic Opera1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

PS My Top Ten Films of 2008 list will be posted on Friday. And no, it was not influenced by this episode.


Anonymous said...

Allthough I'd give three and half stars out of four to Rachel Getting Married, I can see how someone might give it a thumbs down. It's a flawed movie and Anne Hathaway's performance is not as good as everyone makes it out to be.

Putting it on the Worst list, though?! You've got to be joking.

thevoid99 said...

I thought Rachel Getting Married is one of the year's best films along with Synecdoche, New York. I can understand if people didn't like them. Yet, those 2 guys don't have the intelligence to put those 2 films in the Worst Films list. Where's the Uwe Boll films? The Friedberg/Seltzer parody crap of Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans? Were those as bad as Synecdoche, New York? Give me a fucking break!

I haven't seen those films but please. You guys suck! The Love Guru at #9 and not as bad as the other movies mentioned. FAIL!!!!

I'd fire their ass for their lazy, inarticulate reviews.

Anonymous said...

There is definitely a fine line between a disappointed movie and a simply bad movie with absolutely nothing to offer a viewer (Peter Travers however thinks Quantum of Solace was the former and therefore the latter). Indiana Jones was a monster disappointment full of cliches and too much popular culture of the time that was far more embellished in that film than the previous but it certainly was not the worst of the year. It was a good popcorn flick that might may win technical effect honors and nothing more.

Charlie Kauffman movies are in the eyes of the beholden. You either love it, hate it, or are deeply perplexed by it. He's a niche filmmaker and frankly a majority of critics like it though there is also a segment which hate it or they do not get it. Lyons doesn't get it. Fair, but really the worst of the year?

Love Guru and Bedtime Stories were films you know were bad the moment you saw the theatrical trailer.

Rachel Getting Married hits close to home because the family interactions are so real and I am surprised Ben M. hates that film but loves the gritty realism of The Wrestler (His #1 film of the year). They are really the same style going for the same deal of "these are real people like you so deal with it" kind of movies. Ben M. has arbitrary standards if that's the case.