Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ben Lyons is an inconsiderate moron

The Sudden and Surprising Death of At the Movies!
http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEoTovqvfcoZrx

. . . Ben Lyons, on the other hand, is a handsome kid. He's lovable, like a retarded puppy dog. And its nice to see him upholding the family tradition, just like the son of a doctor or a lawyer might do. And he's nice. He always comes with this blinding white smile. Thing is, I've seen him at critic screenings before. He likes to stand up before the film starts and talk really loud. He's not the only one, a lot of press and on-line critics are guilty of this. In a movie theater, where he is shouting over the crowd, I can't turn him off. Never one to agree with the overly simplistic way he describes the films he likes, it sucks to see him on the TV, now occupying space on what was once one of my favorite TV shows. When I worked at E!, he'd run around the halls, claiming to be some kind of Movie Expert. But ask him a question, and he'd just give you one of those retarded puppy dog, blank eyed stares. He really didn't know that much about film. Still, I was sort of happy for him. Because, being nice does go a long way. A handshake here, a "hey, how's it going?" there. The kid did good. Great. So what if he's a lousy look at me critic? But then, Ben Lyons sat down next to me at the Towelhead screening. And I lost any respect I had for him as a televised film critic right then and there. Because he obviously hadn't studied his predecessor's guide to filmgoing etiquette.

Mr. Lyons remained on his cell phone for the entire duration of Towelhead. While he wasn't talking on the phone, he did spend most of the two hour running time click-typing out texts. His head was continuously pulled down, face away from the screen. His zombie-like eyes bathed in that annoying bright blue light. He then later went on to give the film a "Don't See It" review on his show . . .

10 comments:

Agatha said...

Holy crap! A CRITIC talking on his phone?! I knew he was a lousy movie reviewer but I had no idea he was that bad!

What a braindead move by Disney replacing the sainted Roger and the great Richard with this idiot. What were they thinking?!

Gort1138 said...

Ben Lyons is an idiot! He just listed Valkyrie as one of the three to watch this week. I saw this movie and it sucked, especially Tom Cruise. It looks like Benny is trying to suck up to Cruise. I am soooo glad that there are others who feel like I do about this moron. I really miss Roger Ebert!

DB said...

Gene Siskel used to stay in the lobby until the previews were done playing, because he didn't want anything to distract from his film experience. And now this dildo can't even stay off his cel phone for 2 hours. Pathetic.

Anonymous said...

You assholes. He was attempting to take notes with a Blackberry instead of a notepad. I am a film critic and tried this once, but it didn't work for me, as did Mr. Lyons.

The more you hate, the the more you demonstrate your own insecurity -- even if you do it anonymously.

Scott said...

You are the only one posting anonymously on this thread, so I am not sure what your point is.

cmelanie said...

Everyone knows operating your bb while in a theatre alters others' experience of the flick and they cannot accurately critique it. No authentic critic would do this...anonymous or not. Ben Lyons simply does not comment on anything of value or with depth. He is not 'authentic'.

Tiffany said...

@DB (and all you assholes):

I concur. Stop the hate, not the nice people.

Tiffany said...

Blog owner approval? Really? Hmmm..

Tiffany said...

By the way (and I mean no offense to Siskel or Ebert), but I've rarely agreed with the majority of movie critics - I'm not the only one. Maybe Ben Lyons will be more in tune with common movie connoisseurs.

Scott said...

Just a precaution against the obscene amount of spam we were getting for a while.