Tuesday, November 11, 2008

CriticWatch: The Quandry of Bollocks

Don't worry, I'll protect you from Ben Lyons!

Erik Childress reviews At the Movies this week starting with the new Bond movie:

Ever since the 22nd Bond picture announced its new title, people have been wondering the same thing. What the hell kind of title is that? Obviously after Portion of Alleviation and Bulk of Misfortune were rejected, they settled on a title that would one day provide Ben Lyons the opportunity to make another completely off-the-cuff, dumb-ass statement. He talks about it like it’s the treasure at the end of a rainbow.

Erik refers to Ben's comment, roughly paraphrased: "I know what the Quantum of Solace is, but I'm not going to tell you." Damn, we just got served by the all knowing Lyons. It's ok, he still doesn't know what "synecdoche" means.

On a non-Lyons note, though, I have to say that Quantum of Solace suddenly seems like a much less stupid name compared to Portion of Alleviation and Bulk of Misfortune. What happened, Sony Pictures, couldn't think of any better ideas? How about Fortress of Solitude? Oops, already taken. Or Articulation of Ineptitude? No, that would be your job, not the title of the movie.

The biggest problem, of course, is that Ian Fleming would have never named his books any of these. This seems to be a generalized problem now that all (?) of Fleming's novels have been made into movies. Tomorrow Never Dies wouldn't be bad, except that it is way too close to the Beatles great psychedelic song Tomorrow Never Knows from the Revolver album.


Man, I never get sick of those guys . . .

Erik continues:

Lyons couldn’t resist though getting in a plug for another “good friend” of his. During Mank’s recommendation for the complete series of The Sopranos on DVD, Junior pointed out that “James Gandolfini, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Edie Falco, (were) all iconic characters in the history of television.” Not Michael Imperioli or Lorraine Bracco or even Joe Pantoliano. That’s right, because when we all think of the show we’ll always remember Meadow Soprano, one of the least interesting, least substantial, uninteresting characters past the first season. Of course, she didn’t come to our birthday party either.

Oh Ben, can't you stop thinking about all your cool friends for just a second?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The funny part about your statement to the effect that Ian Fleming would never name any of his books this title is that the title "Quantum of Solace" IS a Fleming title. It is the name of a short-story Fleming wrote in the "For Your Eyes Only" collection.

Scott said...

See, even Ian Fleming can't write a good bond title anymore . . .

Ok, I get it, maybe next time I will do a little more due-diligence. But I have to say, this just does not sound like a Bond title to me. Although "Moonraker" is probably worse, so there you go.